One Year Ago

Exactly one year ago today, we were living in our new house for exactly 2 weeks and 1 day, and we found out that we were pregnant with Evan. As I'm thinking about that time, I remember all of the emotions that went through me that evening. I had gone to the store to pick up a home pregnancy test, came home, and took the test while Jeremy and Owen were upstairs. I didn't really think I was pregnant, I figured it was just another messed up cycle like so many I had before. When that little white stick flashed "Pregnant", the waterworks started. I cried. I cried because I was happy. We had been trying for over a year to get pregnant. I cried because I was scared. We had a miscarriage in 2007, and I didn't want to go through that experience again. Being the worry wort that I am, I was also worrying already how we could possibly afford everything. (Even though we had already planned our budget around 2 kids in daycare). I cried for Owen - what would he think? He had all of our attention for over 4 years. He was our everything. Would he think he wasn't important to us anymore? Would he love his little brother or sister? I cried because I was selfish. I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with Owen, and I just knew I was going to have it again, and I knew that it meant extra doctor appointments, and checking my blood sugar, watching everything I ate, and probably insulin. How unfair was it that I couldn't just have one normal pregnancy with no complications? I cried because I was excited. We were going to be a family of 4!


One uncomfortable pregnancy, a second bout of gestational diabetes, a c-section, and a year later, we have this beautiful healthy boy, and I love him dearly. I would go through every part of it again to be blessed with another gift like him. He fits into our family so well. I almost don't remember what life was like before he came into our world. God is so good.He is 4 months old today - where has time gone? He is growing so fast; I wish I could just bottle him up and he'd stay like this forever!