Finding My Four-Leaf Clover

I was reading this post on MckMama’s blog, and had another revelation. In her lifetime, MckMama found numerous four-leaf clovers. She always considered herself lucky, until she one day realized that maybe she found so many rare four-leaf clovers because she was always looking for them. This is a great quote from her post: “Perhaps having a good life, one that we are satisfied or joyful in, is not measured by how much subjective good there actually is in our lives, but simply in if we look for satisfaction and joy.” Yet another change that I want to make in my life – I want to find happiness, not wait for happiness to find me. I noticed recently that I had been trying to make myself happy with material things – nothing big or expensive, but I just would buy things that I didn’t need, but thought I couldn’t live without. I would be happy in that moment, but soon forgot about that happiness and was back to being miserable with everything.

I also noticed that I have become a bit OCD about having the perfectly organized and clean home. Don’t get me wrong, having a clean and organized home is important to me, but I’m beginning to see that it is not everything. And although it feels good to have this kind of “perfect” home, and I have this sense of satisfaction when everything is in its place, it is certainly not the most important thing in life. I have decided that I want to spend more quality time with my husband and with my boys. The dog hair on the floor and the toothpaste in the sink can wait until after the kids go to bed.

Last night, for the first time in a long time, I played with my kids and let everything else go. I have to say, it was the best night I’ve had in a long, long time. Jeremy is away for work, and so it was just me and my boys. After dinner, I quickly did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, but I left everything else on my to-do list for later. I held Evan while Owen and I played Sorry Sliders and Guess Who. He beat me in mini golf on the Wii. We had a blast. Owen was happy. Evan was happy. And, for the first time in a long time, I felt truly happy. At bedtime, for once I did not feel guilty for not spending time with the kids. I still had energy to finish off my to-do list, and even got a short workout in. What a great night! I look forward to many more.